Been to long. updates

So been some time since I wrote in this blog. A lot has happen since then. I have my photography going pretty well. I have already gotten 3 book covers from a company called Pink Flaming Publishing. I'm pretty excited about that.
I also have a site of poeple to see and buy my photography the link is listed. Here are the book covers.

Other than that been busy busy as always. I'll try to write more when I have more time..

Waking the dragon

So we had our first BonFire of the season this past Saturday. Some of us did wish magic. Basically you write down what you would like to bring into your life. or obstacles you would like to remove than you throw that into the fire. We typically fallow that with a hand full of none dairy creamer to make a nice big poof of fire to send it off.

Well anyone how knows any one who knows us knows we have an affinity to the dragons around here. Some of us are very close to them in fact. So Prof threw his paper into the fire and I just happen to snap a picture at that very moment. and we got this kick ass picture that to me Proves we woke the dragon.

tell me what you think? Can you see the dragon?

Newst Artwork Paintings

More about me crap.

More about me.

I will only eat beef hot dogs. When I was a kid I would tell my mom and dad the other hot dogs would make me sick and they never believed me. They tried to trick me one day and I got sick. Ha. On them. I also like a raw (its actually pre cooked) Hot dog right out of the package from time to time.

When we get the play boy. My favorite thing to do is look for the bunny. But damn it they suck these days.

I like Egg salad and tune fish sandwiches. Yes as one sandwich. You do a layer of egg salad then bread than tuna and more bread. Yep it will kill me that’s why I don’t eat it that often.

At this very moment I can feel someone standing behind me. And guess what. No one is there.

I’m pretty sure I killed a friend in a past life. And guess what? He is still my friend.

I am having a really hard time putting prices on my art work. Mostly because I find it really hard to believe its worth much. Doesn’t matter what people say. But at the same I so want it to be worth something. Stupid and silly.

I have always wanted to be recorded singing the rose and give it to my father as a gift. Yes it’s cheesy.

I like fairies, Fearies, Fae and guess what glitter. That’s right I love glitter. I like it in my hair and on my body.

I used to call Butterflies. Flutterbies.

I wonder if I will die young like my mom? Often.

When Crystal turned 11 years old. The whole year I was afraid she was going to die. In fact the year before that too. My sister Tammy dies at that age and they look so much alike it’s freaky. So some how I had myself convinced that what if she was going to die too. What if it was a family curse?

I’m 100% sure at night something watching me through our bedroom and dinning room windows. I have never had that before we moved in here.

I dream about purses a lot.

I keep looking for something I can know better than the other people around me. Why because they all know so much stuff I feel like there has got to be something that I can know enough about that anyone would want to listen to that… But I’m not as interested in the things my friends are. I’m mostly interested in the energy side of spirituality and think that if I don’t know the symbols and things my friends do that they will never take me as a serious magician. So I let that hold me back. But one day mark my word I’m going to say abracadabra and the earth will shake and I will rise above the ground and you will all bow down to me.. LOL. Just kidding. About the last two parts anyway.

I hate my freckles and I just to try to make them go away but putting lemon juice on them. NO it didn’t work.

I often come up with all kind of little skits to do to different music… never do anything with them. But I see them in my mind really well. Like little videos. I have tried to get my kids to do them in the past but gave up.

I often Wish Rick and Jo where in love. And that has nothing to do with the currant situation

I have a stack of songs I wrote. But I don’t think they are any good. So I keep them hidden. Lol

I don’t know why I have done this. But I have come to this point in my life where if I cry I feel I’m weak and letting people down. Mostly myself. So if I start to feel the urge to cry if at all possible I write away my pain. Sometimes I post them to the world. Sometimes they are so dark and disturbing I throw them away because the things I write scare me.

I love butterflies and dragonflies. I was really bummed this past year when I found out Dragonflies eat butterflies. Sigh. sniff sniff.

All my friends remember phrases from movies and books and stuff like that. I can watch a movie 10 times in a row and still not do that. It bugs me.

I’m a control freak. Yes yes I know it’s a surprise to those who know me. And that I keep it hid very well. But I am trust me. ROLFLAO

I hate really needy people. This often makes me wonder if I am one. They say you hate what you are.

My body metabolizes meds weird. Thing that should typically make tired make me high strung. Things that should make me hyper or high like pain pills don’t do that at all. I can’t even tell I’m on them. Some of them work for the pain. But I don’t get loopy from them. I can take darvacet and codeine with out and issue. But give me one none drowsy allergy pill and it about knocks me out. Weird shit. And the dr doesn’t always believe me. Makes life hard when you are in pain or getting something done with your teeth and you can still feel the pain. Bastards.

I often hear voices in the radio. And I’m not talking about the DJ either.

Busy girl this week. new art

With in the Tree of life

(photo so does not do this one justice)

From Behind her mask

Well I have been a busy girl this week. I think my muse is back... Getting ready for an art show and having a good time doing. Gods it feels good to have a brush in my hands again. Reminds me why this is my favorite medium to work with...

Spell Bound

New photo manipulation today.. I needed something to do in between dry time of the painting I"m working on...
Thanks to both Gita and Fiver for modeling.

Things you may. Or may not know about me

Well I’m borrowing Gita’s idea. I say borrow because she said I could. lol


Things you my or may not know about me.

Some of this may or may not be things you already know about me. And you may or may not learn from the list. Either way I’m sharing it.

I have some strange OCD thing I guess you would call that makes me count everything. Sometimes it drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many tiles in a room, how many steps as I walk down them. Still stuff like that on a daily basis.

When I was in third grade my teacher didn’t think my mom and dad took very good care of me. I often had dirty cloths and I didn’t have very many cloths to begin with. She had a niece a year older than I was and got lots and lots of cloths from her. Every day when I would get to school she would pull me into the bathroom and make me change out of my cloths into the nice cloths she had for me. I did this for months. She told me I couldn’t tell my mom and dad. One day we had a field trip and I got off the bus and realized I still had the new cloths on. I went into our garage. Got my cloths out of my bag and changed. I stuffed the cloths I was wearing into a bail of hay in the garage. A few days later my mom found it. She was pissed and she asked me where it came from. I told her and she tried to have the teacher fired. It was a very traumatic time for me. And something I rarely have ever shared.


When I was 10 I accidentally started a fire in the saw mill next to our house. I used to sneak over there all the time. They had a large gas tank over there and I played with it a bit not realizing what I was doing. Or maybe I did and it was a cry for help. Either way I started a fire. The police suspected it was me. They made my dad bring me in and question me. My dad said “my daughter is a very good kid. She would never do that.” They asked me questions. I told them I couldn’t have done it I was watching my sisters outside for my mom that day. Really I was home alone with my sisters. They where all playing when I did it. I got away with it. They believed me and my dad. And to this day I don’t think my dad knows I did it. Although if one of my sisters read this they might nark me out.

I usually feel like I’m way too normal. Just like everyone else. So I always find myself striving to find something that is just mine. And when others like to do things that I do I tend to feel like I just lost what made me who I am. I know deep down that’s silly but I still feel it from time to time. And I’m still looking for that thing that is just mine. I don’t think I will ever find it. But I’ll never stop looking either.

I used to get picked on a ganged up on in School. And because of that and the fact that I only had two pairs of pants I dropped out of school at 16. I don’t regret doing that because its part of whom I am today. But if I could have seen more clearly back than I wouldn’t have dropped out of school.

I feel like of all my friends I’m the person who is stupid. I’m not as intelligent as they are. And I don’t think I ever will be. So it makes me stay out of some conversations I could be part of other wise.

My spelling and grammar is terrible (see 6). So I hate it if anyone watches me type. I find the fact of people correcting my spelling and grammar while I’m writing just makes me want to cry. It makes me feel really stupid and feeds my insecurity about that.

I think I could be a death and grieving councilor since I have lost so many people I have loved.

I secretly (or not so much now) want to sing in public. Not sure why. Don’t think I have a very good voice. But some part of me wants to perform in public.

I have not done it in a bit. But I used to take scolding hot showers when I was upset with myself for something. To the point my skin would be all pink and I would cry from the pain. Once I was to the point I would cry I would get out of the shower. I have not felt the need to do that in over a year now. Thanks to those in my life who have made me feel better about myself.

I often feel like I let people down and can’t seem to find that place where I can say I didn’t. I don’t feel I contribute enough when it comes to family and friends.

When I was a teenager I used to make up whole dances to songs. Memorize them and do them over and over till I had them down just the way I wanted. Than I would do them in front of my friends. Don’t ask me to do that anymore.

When no one is home but me (a rare thing) I dance around the house. Turn the tunes on and sing as loud as I can.

I think that I would die if I couldn’t hear music. I really mean that. I would wither like a flower and just die.

My favorite colors are royal purple, and cobalt blue. But my favorite colors together are red, Black and purple. So I made them my company colors.

One of my favorite things to do. And I still sneak off and do it from time to time is to lay on the grass and a warm breezy day and get lost in the clouds and make things out of them. So if you can’t find me. I might be in the clouds

I feel this overwhelming need to leave my mark in the earth.

I feel very drawn to Fire and Water. I love to play with fire. And water balances me and gives me visions

I have a great understanding of the term, I seen my life flash before my eyes. In 1987 I was in an accident. Feel asleep at the wheel around 4am after work. Rolled into the median and when I pulled myself out the front tire on my van blew which made the Van jerk and I ended up going up an embankment and rolling the van. I was trapped inside. With hot water and gas pouring on me. I was all twisted inside and I was loosing enough blood that it was dripping out the windshield when I was found. I couldn’t feel my legs and I was just about to go out when a voice called out. He was my angel. I’ll never forget it. I almost died that night. They said I was lucky to still be alive. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out. And yes I saw my life flash before my eyes. It’s very humbling.

I used to be a sleep walker. And a sleep talker. I don’t know I might still talk in my sleep you would have asked someone else.

I used to love cute things. Like kittens, and I even collected kitten statues. Thank gods I grew out of that. Now I don’t collect anything

Most things I do in my life. Art, photography. They are to make people proud of me. And one day I want to really go places with my photography.

My favorite candy are Necco hearts

I rarely can sit still. I have to be moving something. Toes or something.

I sometimes make funny faces in the mirror. I find it a distraction to looking at how I really look.

I suffer from Self doubt and self sabotage.

If I could have one unreal power. Teleportation.

I think I could write a book or movie based on my dreams

I often know a lot more things that are going to happen than I share with people for fear of people thinking it’s my fault it happened.

I often pretend to not know something just so I don’t have to share the info with my friends. I feel they always know it better than I do and I don’t like to sound stupid or be wrong out loud.

I hate that people think I’m mad when I’m not! It happens way too often and I sometimes write about it and cry because I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I come across like that.

I think I’m a burden

I love to help people but fear reaching out anymore.

When I die I want to be cremated. No funeral just party. Ding dong the witch is dead.

I like to wear wigs and freaky contacts and stuff. If I could I would do it all the time.

I want to learn the art of Shibari

I like lizards. I would like to own one again.

I used to be so shy that I would not talk to people.

I can shape shift. I have wings and know how to use them

I have a desire to be a Domme. I just don’t know how good I would be at it. So I let that hold me back.