Fat not thin!!!!

Okay so I’m fat. Not thin. Don’t care what anyone thinks about that. I’m not always happy in my skin but is anyone?
So before you read on. Know that this is a rant. I don’t apologize for the rant in any way shape or form. My views are mine and I’m not looking for a debate. So if you don’t want to read something you might not agree with. Don’t read on.

Queen Latifah has always been one of the very few Actresses I have looked up to. Not because of the way she can act. Not for her voice and not for her modeling. But for the fact that she has always been a proud Big Beautiful Woman! Today I’m watching TV and this really stupid commercial comes on. I continue to watch it because it has her on it. Guess what. It’s her saying how she has decided to take others advice and become healthy. How is she going to do that? She is now a Jenny Craig spokes model. Ya fucking who. The one person who has always stood and said you don’t have to be thin to be in. That a big woman is hot and sexy too is now and advocate for diets. WTF?

Does she really have some health issue? And even if she does, is it because she is fat? Or is she just one more fucking person who buys into a world were you need to be thin?

Missy Elliot tried thin. And I don’t know if anyone has noticed but guess what she is fat again. So why keep trying to be something your not. Why try to be thin and hot when you are built to be something else. Queen Latifah has been the size she is or close to it for years in the show biz. So why now all the sudden does she have to do Jenny Craig. Eat less be thin. This is in? Look around people. Fat people are sexy too and if you don’t think that your nuts. You don’t fucking have to be thin to be healthy. Fat does not mean your going to die young. Fat does not mean you are sick. I know plenty of people who are much thinner than I am who have some real health issues. You don’t have to be fat to be unhealthy. And just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy.

SCREAMS UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I think the reason I am here is to inspire African-American women who are rappers, full-figured women to know that they can do it too.”
Queen Latifah quote

http://hiphop.popcrunch.com/queen-latifah-launches-plus-size-clothing-line/
Queen Latifah Launches Plus-Size Clothing Line

· Insists she would never diet and has no desire to be a typically tiny Hollywood star. (January 13, 2006)

Queen Latifah Signs On to Endorse Jenny Craig
By Allison Adato and Tim Nudd
Originally posted Wednesday December 19, 2007 09:15 AM EST
Queen Latifah Photo by: Sthanlee B. Mirador / Shooting Star
Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli have another pal joining them in the Jenny Craig universe: Queen Latifah. The Oscar-nominated singer and actress, 37, has signed up to be the latest celebrity spokesperson for the weight-loss chain, PEOPLE confirms exclusively. "We officially confirm that Queen Latifah will join the Jenny Craig program in January," Scott Parker, Jenny Craig's vice president of marketing, tells PEOPLE. "We are thrilled to have Queen Latifah support our mission of improving health by taking her first step toward achieving a more healthful lifestyle." Parker adds: "Queen Latifah joins forces with Jenny Craig to communicate the importance of how small lifestyle changes, in the areas of diet and exercise, can have positive effects on overall health." The Hairspray star, who has consistently celebrated her plus-size figure over the years (including a recent PEOPLE cover story), will have a "very different campaign, focused on a healthier lifestyle, not on getting onto a specific dress size," says Parker. Of her figure, Latifah told PEOPLE in October, "I would say I'm voluptuous."

Art in Motion

I joined an art list a few days ago. Unfortunatly its a pretty quite list so for. But the owner sends through some pretty cool stuff. Today she sent a link to a blog with a lot of artwork and stuff on it. This was one of the videos on the blog. The artist Eugene Sargent's site, great stuff there - Link.
here is the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w56smGCCiKI

I wanted to put the video in. But for some reason the code wouldn't copy right. sigh

Random Lost my Mind day.

Auto Matic Writing

Sitting here should be in bed. Sick been sick all damn week. Tired of being sick. Sun shinning on me from the window burning a hole in my side. Guess that’s how this writing it going to go. Way out of line. Way out of space. Space is a place full of little stars that should be called my fluffy names like tinker twink and bumble Lisa. No idea where that came from. Where does it ever come from? From our mind. Our crazy crazy hazy maze of a mind. A vortex waiting to open up wide and swallow real thoughts. Real actions, real places and faces. Faces with facts we run and hide. Hide from dreams I think I’m hiding from mine. But then I have been on meds for coughing and ache for days no wonder I can’t recall a damn thing. Silly rainbows of mind numbness filled with candy canes flavored with bee’s wax like ear wax only taste better. Does it taste better? Need another Hot toddy although there was way too much lemon in the last one. Not that the toddy is helping. But makes the time past faster. Should be passing time in bed rather than on the computer writing this stupid crap. But wait there is a blue in the horizon of hate filled trees. Pine trees. Grass, ice falling from the roof. The roofs not falling though so that’s good. Need to close the blind the sun in blinding me. Where is my mind? Lost lost I tell you. . Thank god that was the last sip. In no hurry to make another of those although its way better than all the other shit I have been shoving in my body. Fucking dr no med. She is fucking nuts I tell you. She might as well jump off the building thinking she has wings. Flying like tinker bell landing in the sand of hell. Hell a place to go to warm up? Or will hell freeze over? It is January after all but then there is always another January thaw. Thaw from the snow or thaw from the cabin fever I’m getting from being stuck in this damn house. I wanted this house so bad but I need to run from it today. Far away from my room and my bed if only my body thought the same thing. Little green people dancing on my key board are really typing this you know. Come take the green people away. Take me away. Colgon take me away. You know I really never really liked that stuff. It smells nasty. To flowery. Is flowery even really a word? Oh hell it’s English we can make them up as we go right. That’s what we do anyway. We fall and fall from high places than stack lots of books of slang up to climb back up. No tower card if you can climb back up? Yes there is always a tower card. Tell Hillary that. Stupid bitch. Why does Hillary like morning sex with Bill? That way she is always the first lady. Yes ladies and gents. Thank play boy for that really bad joke. I have it stuck in my head from them. Their entire fault. No one better to blame than Hew. But than again the girls next door make a lot of money. I wonder how much money they make. I bet its enough to buy lots of boy toys. I would buy girl toys but they are so fucking complicated. If you don’t believe me by the time you are done reading this that chicks are complicated than you didn’t read all this. I want what I can’t have and have what I want but want more. I want to be my own boss but like the job I have. I want ice cream but can’t have it why? Not because it makes me fat but because I’m sick and it will make me cough. Gods damn it all. And why is 99 red balloons in my head. Jo it’s your fault you and that song. Have to have someone to blame. Isn’t it always the blame game? Can’t take on our own responsibility right? What fun is that? Fun something I need to have. Drawing maybe I could draw. I can’t think of a damn thing I want to draw other than a Koi in transformation and I have no clue how to draw that. But that image has been in my mind for days. Each night before I go to sleep I think about it. It would be a great tattoo. Hell yea.
Gold fish giving head to grape Kool-Aid. Hey we are the grape Kool aid gang! Random thoughts from a random mind. Mine to be for sure but not sure I’m of sound mind. Although I do keep hearing lots of strange sounds in my mind. Ding dong the witch is dead or just sick and should be in bed. Damn it this needs to just fucking go away.
One little ant left the big hill to set out and find his way home. I squished him. Mawahahaha. No clue really I have no clue where this stuff is coming from.

Optimistic View

So I'm taking a very optimistic view on my new studio and getting it going. I know I can do this. I just have to get things in order. I am working on setting up a photo shoot with friends this weekend. I Hope to get some really great shots and get some practice with the new camera and lights.. Yahoo for the new camera and lights. Life is good. I'm extremely blessed and just felt the need to share that out loud. Well sort of out loud.

I have my studio name. My new name and I'm off to a good start. I would like to say running start but running start means it could only slow down after that. So I'm off to a nice start. That way I can keep up the pace and not get out of breath. lol.

I have also been talking to a couple of other people about some idea's for studio shoots etc...

I have to design my new business card. And work on taking pictures for Soren stones as well. That will also give me some advertisement type practice. I think I'll have Crystal be our hand model. I told her today in exchange she will get Credit with Soren stones. I think she will like that. And it in some small way gets her involved in my work..

Well off to create a label for a friend. I need to get it done so there are time for changes.

Namaste'

For my New company logo!

This is the original photo. Where it all began so to speak.

I'm so excited. Tonight well today and tonight. I worked most of the day on a new logo for my new company.

Beautifully Chaotic Studios!! I kept sketching things out and the more I looked at the idea I had on the sketch it suddenly hit me.. I have a picture of myself kind of like what I was trying to sketch out. One that my friend Erin took for me.. So I decided to use my own likeness. Now I don't know if that is cheesy or not. But I Think it turned out kiss ass. My first attempts was using four different programs and this is what I came up with.

Prof came in and seen my first attempts and suggested that I just line draw it in our adobe program. I wasn't sure how to draw from a photo yet so he did one up with my idea to give me something to start with. Which is the second picture you see.

Well I liked that idea So I stared tweaking what he came up with. Redrew parts of it. and Came up with what I would like it to look like. Erin suggested some changes to the eye. Open it up and all. And with patients from myself and Prof . He helped me so much with adding the color. you basically have to duplicate all the parts you want color in and join all the lines in a manner so you can fill it with color. It was a long process but well worth it. Here is what I ended up with. I added my name and copy write in white just to protect it from someone taking it. So when I use it the words will not be there. But here are the great beginnings to a wonderful logo. Thanks so much to Prof for his help. I love you!!

Dilemma's

So I have come to a point where I want to do two things. One change my name. Moonfyr no longer fits. I had thought about going back to Breanna. But I am also thinking about Dinaya. Which was my Great Grand mothers name. She came here by Ship from Holland as a child.

So I guess I would like to ask those who know me. Or even those who don't I guess. What do you think would better suit me. Or work better for me?

Breanna Or Dinaya Prounouces Di na (long a) ya.

comments would be great.


Also. I think I have decided to name my studio Beautifully Chaotic Studio's. I would really like feed back on that. what you think of the name etc.. Be honest because once I pay for the name its there.

And I'm looking for idea's for the logo. But I personally can't think of things that would represent me there. I know I might like to use a top hat on it someplace. But that's subject to change. So if people would like to comment on things they could see in a logo to represent myself and my business those would be greatly appreciated as well..

Not asking for much am I? LOL...

2008 Goals

2008 Goals


I have decided this year to set some goals for myself. No one needs a New Year resolution they are just going to break. I hate them. I think they are setting your self up for failure. I think it’s better to set goals. Goals you can strive for and try to achieve.

So with that said. Here are my 2008 Goals.



Take a Digital photography class soon as I find one.

Try to use the Elliptical at least twice a week. I really need to get into better shape. I don’t care how much I weight but it’s important to my health to try to lose a few pounds and be healthier.

Artwork. More artwork. Find my place in the Art world. I don’t think I have found it yet.

Get my studio up and going. Even if it’s not making any money. I need to get it going in some way or shape. I have a goal of at least 5 paying customers this year!! Since I don’t have a studio room yet, I don’t want to set my goal to high and feel as though I let myself down.

Kind of goes with one. But learn my lens and lights better so I can take kick ass pictures.

Get into fetish photography more.

BBW pictures more

Show woman how damn hot they can look in a photo no matter how big or small they are. We are all beautiful damn it! And it’s nice to have pictures to give the men in our life. They love them as gifts.

To do two kick ass paintings this year. And sell at least one of them.

To get all my alters set up

To continue to help out as many people as I can. Even if it’s just in small ways.

To make at least one new friend.

Believe in myself more than I did last year. It’s a really hard goal for me. I have rather low self-esteem and I really need to work on that.

Kind of goes with 13. To have a better self image. The image you project is what people will see. If I see beauty and confidence in the mirror. I project beauty and confidence.

To make it back to Savannah Damn it. Or at least some place as beautiful or as exciting. I don’t know how I will pull that one off. But I will. Even if it means I have to beg, borrow or sell something I love.

I think 15 goals are good. I don’t want to over do it. And I don’t want to set myself up for failure. So this is a good place for me right now.

New years with a bang!!

New Years with a bang.
Murder at the Four Deuces!



The night started out great. The club opened with out much of a hitch. The cooks put on a great dinner!
The mood was set. The people arriving; the anticipations running wild in my mind.

Arguments filled the air as “Don” Big Jim Ravioli made his rounds of pissing people off.

His tart of a wife was due to sing so we where lead to the basement. All good action starts in the basement. She sang her heart out!! Then Big Jim got up to make an announcement. The lights went out. Shots where herd and there he lay when the lights come back on. Shot Dead.
The party started with a bang.
Carries scream was ear piercing. His mother blubbered like a baby as she tried to find his money on his body. Old drunk.
Wasn’t long and the second victim had fallen. Rhett bumbler. Killed in the brothel. Imagine that.
Murders didn’t seem to stop dinner and drinks. In fact lots of drinks. I was glad to be making them for people. Mawahahaha…. Although my plot for murder was foiled. Damn that Carrie Crooner. Always ruins everything.
The night ended at the club with a final murder. Capo didn’t know what hit him. But it hit him like a brick. Brick in a pink purse even. Silly man. Not really sure what Vanessa’s motive was. But does a woman ever really need one to kill a man?



(you can see a few more of the pictures in my album on myspace myspace.com/moonfyr )

Murder at the four Deuces. I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to try a murder mystery party. We had 14 guests. Everyone played there character well. The evening was so much fun. I would like to try it again. Use what we learned from the first try to make it even better next time.
Everyone’s costumes turned out so great!!!
It was so fun playing the part of a scornful ex wife. I loved the play acting and play arguing. Everyone was amazing. The dinner was fabulous!
Only three people guessed who the murderer was. And that’s info I’ll not give away. Since others might play this game and I wouldn’t want them to find this info online. Two others died as well. It was fantastic. I think we could have played a bit longer but it felt like the right time to stop when we did. The living room made a great brothel. My color scheme in there was great for it. Missy let me borrow some props she had as well that really helped set the mood.
Erin, Jo and Fiver made that amazing dinner. Everyone complimented it. And they cooked for an Army so there was plenty of food left over for those who stayed the night to eat the next day.
I wished I had gotten pictures of the dead bodies. I think I will do that different next time. Make sure the inspector has a camera to do so. But the pictures we did get are great.

I think I can say with out a doubt in my mind this is the best New Years Eve I can recall!! I look forward to next years New Year’s Eve. Especially if we do this type of thing again.