Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Been to long. updates
I also have a site of poeple to see and buy my photography the link is listed. Here are the book covers.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Waking the dragon
tell me what you think? Can you see the dragon?
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
More about me crap.
I will only eat beef hot dogs. When I was a kid I would tell my mom and dad the other hot dogs would make me sick and they never believed me. They tried to trick me one day and I got sick. Ha. On them. I also like a raw (its actually pre cooked) Hot dog right out of the package from time to time.
When we get the play boy. My favorite thing to do is look for the bunny. But damn it they suck these days.
I like Egg salad and tune fish sandwiches. Yes as one sandwich. You do a layer of egg salad then bread than tuna and more bread. Yep it will kill me that’s why I don’t eat it that often.
At this very moment I can feel someone standing behind me. And guess what. No one is there.
I’m pretty sure I killed a friend in a past life. And guess what? He is still my friend.
I am having a really hard time putting prices on my art work. Mostly because I find it really hard to believe its worth much. Doesn’t matter what people say. But at the same I so want it to be worth something. Stupid and silly.
I have always wanted to be recorded singing the rose and give it to my father as a gift. Yes it’s cheesy.
I like fairies, Fearies, Fae and guess what glitter. That’s right I love glitter. I like it in my hair and on my body.
I used to call Butterflies. Flutterbies.
I wonder if I will die young like my mom? Often.
When Crystal turned 11 years old. The whole year I was afraid she was going to die. In fact the year before that too. My sister Tammy dies at that age and they look so much alike it’s freaky. So some how I had myself convinced that what if she was going to die too. What if it was a family curse?
I’m 100% sure at night something watching me through our bedroom and dinning room windows. I have never had that before we moved in here.
I dream about purses a lot.
I keep looking for something I can know better than the other people around me. Why because they all know so much stuff I feel like there has got to be something that I can know enough about that anyone would want to listen to that… But I’m not as interested in the things my friends are. I’m mostly interested in the energy side of spirituality and think that if I don’t know the symbols and things my friends do that they will never take me as a serious magician. So I let that hold me back. But one day mark my word I’m going to say abracadabra and the earth will shake and I will rise above the ground and you will all bow down to me.. LOL. Just kidding. About the last two parts anyway.
I hate my freckles and I just to try to make them go away but putting lemon juice on them. NO it didn’t work.
I often come up with all kind of little skits to do to different music… never do anything with them. But I see them in my mind really well. Like little videos. I have tried to get my kids to do them in the past but gave up.
I often Wish Rick and Jo where in love. And that has nothing to do with the currant situation
I have a stack of songs I wrote. But I don’t think they are any good. So I keep them hidden. Lol
I don’t know why I have done this. But I have come to this point in my life where if I cry I feel I’m weak and letting people down. Mostly myself. So if I start to feel the urge to cry if at all possible I write away my pain. Sometimes I post them to the world. Sometimes they are so dark and disturbing I throw them away because the things I write scare me.
I love butterflies and dragonflies. I was really bummed this past year when I found out Dragonflies eat butterflies. Sigh. sniff sniff.
All my friends remember phrases from movies and books and stuff like that. I can watch a movie 10 times in a row and still not do that. It bugs me.
I’m a control freak. Yes yes I know it’s a surprise to those who know me. And that I keep it hid very well. But I am trust me. ROLFLAO
I hate really needy people. This often makes me wonder if I am one. They say you hate what you are.
My body metabolizes meds weird. Thing that should typically make tired make me high strung. Things that should make me hyper or high like pain pills don’t do that at all. I can’t even tell I’m on them. Some of them work for the pain. But I don’t get loopy from them. I can take darvacet and codeine with out and issue. But give me one none drowsy allergy pill and it about knocks me out. Weird shit. And the dr doesn’t always believe me. Makes life hard when you are in pain or getting something done with your teeth and you can still feel the pain. Bastards.
I often hear voices in the radio. And I’m not talking about the DJ either.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Busy girl this week. new art
Friday, February 8, 2008
Things you may. Or may not know about me
Well I’m borrowing Gita’s idea. I say borrow because she said I could. lol
Things you my or may not know about me.
Some of this may or may not be things you already know about me. And you may or may not learn from the list. Either way I’m sharing it.
I have some strange OCD thing I guess you would call that makes me count everything. Sometimes it drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many tiles in a room, how many steps as I walk down them. Still stuff like that on a daily basis.
When I was in third grade my teacher didn’t think my mom and dad took very good care of me. I often had dirty cloths and I didn’t have very many cloths to begin with. She had a niece a year older than I was and got lots and lots of cloths from her. Every day when I would get to school she would pull me into the bathroom and make me change out of my cloths into the nice cloths she had for me. I did this for months. She told me I couldn’t tell my mom and dad. One day we had a field trip and I got off the bus and realized I still had the new cloths on. I went into our garage. Got my cloths out of my bag and changed. I stuffed the cloths I was wearing into a bail of hay in the garage. A few days later my mom found it. She was pissed and she asked me where it came from. I told her and she tried to have the teacher fired. It was a very traumatic time for me. And something I rarely have ever shared.
When I was 10 I accidentally started a fire in the saw mill next to our house. I used to sneak over there all the time. They had a large gas tank over there and I played with it a bit not realizing what I was doing. Or maybe I did and it was a cry for help. Either way I started a fire. The police suspected it was me. They made my dad bring me in and question me. My dad said “my daughter is a very good kid. She would never do that.” They asked me questions. I told them I couldn’t have done it I was watching my sisters outside for my mom that day. Really I was home alone with my sisters. They where all playing when I did it. I got away with it. They believed me and my dad. And to this day I don’t think my dad knows I did it. Although if one of my sisters read this they might nark me out.
I usually feel like I’m way too normal. Just like everyone else. So I always find myself striving to find something that is just mine. And when others like to do things that I do I tend to feel like I just lost what made me who I am. I know deep down that’s silly but I still feel it from time to time. And I’m still looking for that thing that is just mine. I don’t think I will ever find it. But I’ll never stop looking either.
I used to get picked on a ganged up on in School. And because of that and the fact that I only had two pairs of pants I dropped out of school at 16. I don’t regret doing that because its part of whom I am today. But if I could have seen more clearly back than I wouldn’t have dropped out of school.
I feel like of all my friends I’m the person who is stupid. I’m not as intelligent as they are. And I don’t think I ever will be. So it makes me stay out of some conversations I could be part of other wise.
My spelling and grammar is terrible (see 6). So I hate it if anyone watches me type. I find the fact of people correcting my spelling and grammar while I’m writing just makes me want to cry. It makes me feel really stupid and feeds my insecurity about that.
I think I could be a death and grieving councilor since I have lost so many people I have loved.
I secretly (or not so much now) want to sing in public. Not sure why. Don’t think I have a very good voice. But some part of me wants to perform in public.
I have not done it in a bit. But I used to take scolding hot showers when I was upset with myself for something. To the point my skin would be all pink and I would cry from the pain. Once I was to the point I would cry I would get out of the shower. I have not felt the need to do that in over a year now. Thanks to those in my life who have made me feel better about myself.
I often feel like I let people down and can’t seem to find that place where I can say I didn’t. I don’t feel I contribute enough when it comes to family and friends.
When I was a teenager I used to make up whole dances to songs. Memorize them and do them over and over till I had them down just the way I wanted. Than I would do them in front of my friends. Don’t ask me to do that anymore.
When no one is home but me (a rare thing) I dance around the house. Turn the tunes on and sing as loud as I can.
I think that I would die if I couldn’t hear music. I really mean that. I would wither like a flower and just die.
My favorite colors are royal purple, and cobalt blue. But my favorite colors together are red, Black and purple. So I made them my company colors.
One of my favorite things to do. And I still sneak off and do it from time to time is to lay on the grass and a warm breezy day and get lost in the clouds and make things out of them. So if you can’t find me. I might be in the clouds
I feel this overwhelming need to leave my mark in the earth.
I feel very drawn to Fire and Water. I love to play with fire. And water balances me and gives me visions
I have a great understanding of the term, I seen my life flash before my eyes. In 1987 I was in an accident. Feel asleep at the wheel around 4am after work. Rolled into the median and when I pulled myself out the front tire on my van blew which made the Van jerk and I ended up going up an embankment and rolling the van. I was trapped inside. With hot water and gas pouring on me. I was all twisted inside and I was loosing enough blood that it was dripping out the windshield when I was found. I couldn’t feel my legs and I was just about to go out when a voice called out. He was my angel. I’ll never forget it. I almost died that night. They said I was lucky to still be alive. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out. And yes I saw my life flash before my eyes. It’s very humbling.
I used to be a sleep walker. And a sleep talker. I don’t know I might still talk in my sleep you would have asked someone else.
I used to love cute things. Like kittens, and I even collected kitten statues. Thank gods I grew out of that. Now I don’t collect anything
Most things I do in my life. Art, photography. They are to make people proud of me. And one day I want to really go places with my photography.
My favorite candy are Necco hearts
I rarely can sit still. I have to be moving something. Toes or something.
I sometimes make funny faces in the mirror. I find it a distraction to looking at how I really look.
I suffer from Self doubt and self sabotage.
If I could have one unreal power. Teleportation.
I think I could write a book or movie based on my dreams
I often know a lot more things that are going to happen than I share with people for fear of people thinking it’s my fault it happened.
I often pretend to not know something just so I don’t have to share the info with my friends. I feel they always know it better than I do and I don’t like to sound stupid or be wrong out loud.
I hate that people think I’m mad when I’m not! It happens way too often and I sometimes write about it and cry because I don’t know what’s wrong with me that I come across like that.
I think I’m a burden
I love to help people but fear reaching out anymore.
When I die I want to be cremated. No funeral just party. Ding dong the witch is dead.
I like to wear wigs and freaky contacts and stuff. If I could I would do it all the time.
I want to learn the art of Shibari
I like lizards. I would like to own one again.
I used to be so shy that I would not talk to people.
I can shape shift. I have wings and know how to use them
I have a desire to be a Domme. I just don’t know how good I would be at it. So I let that hold me back.
Featured artist of the week
http://www.myspace.com/sasacredsisters
Yahooooooooo
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Fat not thin!!!!
So before you read on. Know that this is a rant. I don’t apologize for the rant in any way shape or form. My views are mine and I’m not looking for a debate. So if you don’t want to read something you might not agree with. Don’t read on.
Queen Latifah has always been one of the very few Actresses I have looked up to. Not because of the way she can act. Not for her voice and not for her modeling. But for the fact that she has always been a proud Big Beautiful Woman! Today I’m watching TV and this really stupid commercial comes on. I continue to watch it because it has her on it. Guess what. It’s her saying how she has decided to take others advice and become healthy. How is she going to do that? She is now a Jenny Craig spokes model. Ya fucking who. The one person who has always stood and said you don’t have to be thin to be in. That a big woman is hot and sexy too is now and advocate for diets. WTF?
Does she really have some health issue? And even if she does, is it because she is fat? Or is she just one more fucking person who buys into a world were you need to be thin?
Missy Elliot tried thin. And I don’t know if anyone has noticed but guess what she is fat again. So why keep trying to be something your not. Why try to be thin and hot when you are built to be something else. Queen Latifah has been the size she is or close to it for years in the show biz. So why now all the sudden does she have to do Jenny Craig. Eat less be thin. This is in? Look around people. Fat people are sexy too and if you don’t think that your nuts. You don’t fucking have to be thin to be healthy. Fat does not mean your going to die young. Fat does not mean you are sick. I know plenty of people who are much thinner than I am who have some real health issues. You don’t have to be fat to be unhealthy. And just because you’re fat doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy.
SCREAMS UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I think the reason I am here is to inspire African-American women who are rappers, full-figured women to know that they can do it too.”
Queen Latifah quote
http://hiphop.popcrunch.com/queen-latifah-launches-plus-size-clothing-line/
Queen Latifah Launches Plus-Size Clothing Line
· Insists she would never diet and has no desire to be a typically tiny Hollywood star. (January 13, 2006)
By Allison Adato and Tim Nudd
Originally posted Wednesday December 19, 2007 09:15 AM EST
Queen Latifah Photo by: Sthanlee B. Mirador / Shooting Star
Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli have another pal joining them in the Jenny Craig universe: Queen Latifah. The Oscar-nominated singer and actress, 37, has signed up to be the latest celebrity spokesperson for the weight-loss chain, PEOPLE confirms exclusively. "We officially confirm that Queen Latifah will join the Jenny Craig program in January," Scott Parker, Jenny Craig's vice president of marketing, tells PEOPLE. "We are thrilled to have Queen Latifah support our mission of improving health by taking her first step toward achieving a more healthful lifestyle." Parker adds: "Queen Latifah joins forces with Jenny Craig to communicate the importance of how small lifestyle changes, in the areas of diet and exercise, can have positive effects on overall health." The Hairspray star, who has consistently celebrated her plus-size figure over the years (including a recent PEOPLE cover story), will have a "very different campaign, focused on a healthier lifestyle, not on getting onto a specific dress size," says Parker. Of her figure, Latifah told PEOPLE in October, "I would say I'm voluptuous."
Friday, January 25, 2008
Art in Motion
here is the video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w56smGCCiKI
I wanted to put the video in. But for some reason the code wouldn't copy right. sigh
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Random Lost my Mind day.
Gold fish giving head to grape Kool-Aid. Hey we are the grape Kool aid gang! Random thoughts from a random mind. Mine to be for sure but not sure I’m of sound mind. Although I do keep hearing lots of strange sounds in my mind. Ding dong the witch is dead or just sick and should be in bed. Damn it this needs to just fucking go away.
One little ant left the big hill to set out and find his way home. I squished him. Mawahahaha. No clue really I have no clue where this stuff is coming from.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Optimistic View
Sunday, January 6, 2008
For my New company logo!
Dilemma's
So I guess I would like to ask those who know me. Or even those who don't I guess. What do you think would better suit me. Or work better for me?
Breanna Or Dinaya Prounouces Di na (long a) ya.
comments would be great.
Also. I think I have decided to name my studio Beautifully Chaotic Studio's. I would really like feed back on that. what you think of the name etc.. Be honest because once I pay for the name its there.
And I'm looking for idea's for the logo. But I personally can't think of things that would represent me there. I know I might like to use a top hat on it someplace. But that's subject to change. So if people would like to comment on things they could see in a logo to represent myself and my business those would be greatly appreciated as well..
Not asking for much am I? LOL...
2008 Goals
I have decided this year to set some goals for myself. No one needs a New Year resolution they are just going to break. I hate them. I think they are setting your self up for failure. I think it’s better to set goals. Goals you can strive for and try to achieve.
So with that said. Here are my 2008 Goals.
Take a Digital photography class soon as I find one.
Try to use the Elliptical at least twice a week. I really need to get into better shape. I don’t care how much I weight but it’s important to my health to try to lose a few pounds and be healthier.
Artwork. More artwork. Find my place in the Art world. I don’t think I have found it yet.
Get my studio up and going. Even if it’s not making any money. I need to get it going in some way or shape. I have a goal of at least 5 paying customers this year!! Since I don’t have a studio room yet, I don’t want to set my goal to high and feel as though I let myself down.
Kind of goes with one. But learn my lens and lights better so I can take kick ass pictures.
Get into fetish photography more.
BBW pictures more
Show woman how damn hot they can look in a photo no matter how big or small they are. We are all beautiful damn it! And it’s nice to have pictures to give the men in our life. They love them as gifts.
To do two kick ass paintings this year. And sell at least one of them.
To get all my alters set up
To continue to help out as many people as I can. Even if it’s just in small ways.
To make at least one new friend.
Believe in myself more than I did last year. It’s a really hard goal for me. I have rather low self-esteem and I really need to work on that.
Kind of goes with 13. To have a better self image. The image you project is what people will see. If I see beauty and confidence in the mirror. I project beauty and confidence.
To make it back to Savannah Damn it. Or at least some place as beautiful or as exciting. I don’t know how I will pull that one off. But I will. Even if it means I have to beg, borrow or sell something I love.
I think 15 goals are good. I don’t want to over do it. And I don’t want to set myself up for failure. So this is a good place for me right now.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
New years with a bang!!
Murder at the Four Deuces!
The night started out great. The club opened with out much of a hitch. The cooks put on a great dinner!
The mood was set. The people arriving; the anticipations running wild in my mind.
Arguments filled the air as “Don” Big Jim Ravioli made his rounds of pissing people off.
His tart of a wife was due to sing so we where lead to the basement. All good action starts in the basement. She sang her heart out!! Then Big Jim got up to make an announcement. The lights went out. Shots where herd and there he lay when the lights come back on. Shot Dead.
The party started with a bang.
Carries scream was ear piercing. His mother blubbered like a baby as she tried to find his money on his body. Old drunk.
Wasn’t long and the second victim had fallen. Rhett bumbler. Killed in the brothel. Imagine that.
Murders didn’t seem to stop dinner and drinks. In fact lots of drinks. I was glad to be making them for people. Mawahahaha…. Although my plot for murder was foiled. Damn that Carrie Crooner. Always ruins everything.
The night ended at the club with a final murder. Capo didn’t know what hit him. But it hit him like a brick. Brick in a pink purse even. Silly man. Not really sure what Vanessa’s motive was. But does a woman ever really need one to kill a man?
(you can see a few more of the pictures in my album on myspace myspace.com/moonfyr )
Murder at the four Deuces. I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to try a murder mystery party. We had 14 guests. Everyone played there character well. The evening was so much fun. I would like to try it again. Use what we learned from the first try to make it even better next time.
Everyone’s costumes turned out so great!!!
It was so fun playing the part of a scornful ex wife. I loved the play acting and play arguing. Everyone was amazing. The dinner was fabulous!
Only three people guessed who the murderer was. And that’s info I’ll not give away. Since others might play this game and I wouldn’t want them to find this info online. Two others died as well. It was fantastic. I think we could have played a bit longer but it felt like the right time to stop when we did. The living room made a great brothel. My color scheme in there was great for it. Missy let me borrow some props she had as well that really helped set the mood.
Erin, Jo and Fiver made that amazing dinner. Everyone complimented it. And they cooked for an Army so there was plenty of food left over for those who stayed the night to eat the next day.
I wished I had gotten pictures of the dead bodies. I think I will do that different next time. Make sure the inspector has a camera to do so. But the pictures we did get are great.
I think I can say with out a doubt in my mind this is the best New Years Eve I can recall!! I look forward to next years New Year’s Eve. Especially if we do this type of thing again.